Before you talk about how your co-worker has an advantage over you… Before you start any of that whining and crying… Ask yourself… Are you REALLY doing your best at your job? 7. She gets most of her inspiration for the blog while on the run, and if you ever need to find her, she’s probably in Central Park. Somewhere between doing better and best. Take care. My hope is that listeners will be able to empathize with my guests in order to gain new perspectives of compassion. Product Company. Because really, what can you say? The question—and its popular variation, “How are you doing?”—appears in emails from strangers and acquaintances and in polite face-to-face conversation. If you're new to a company and leading a … There are definitely times when you ask “How are you?” that you’d be genuinely annoyed if in response, the person launched into a long explanation of exactly why things were or were not so great. While "pretty good," and "OK" are quick answers, experts say finding out how you're really doing will help in the long run. So, you can ask this question to make that active one-on-one time to see, well, how someone is doing, authentically. Focus on how your loved ones are keeping busy and entertaining themselves, and let the conversation unfold from there. Writing Tips Grammar Trends Inspiration. The answer you give when someone asks how you’re doing is usually an automatic, standard response. It’s better to know that you’ve been feeling tired for the last couple of days before you’re so sleep deprived that you get sick. But is that the standard we have to live by? Rachel is a licensed therapist and co-founder of Viva Wellness. 8. By. See how a friend has been stretching out, and maybe you can plan a workout together. A blog about all things wellness to help you find what works for you, brought to you by Rachel and Jor-El of Viva Wellness. If you are not okay, it is okay to admit it, it’s just you and God. It’s just a part of our social norms. The answer most people are going to give here is some version of “I’m good”. Though almost certainly used in colloquial speech earlier, the salutation first appears in print in the 1940s and spreads in the 1970s.In the late 20th century, How you doing was popularly associated with New Yorkers of Italian descent—and pronounced more like how YOO dooin. HOW ARE YOU DOING? If you know that you are one-of-a-kind, you can’t really do the same old routine. It's basically guesswork. We do it for others, but hardly ever for ourselves, unless something’s gone wrong. Here are some more words you might use to describe how you’re really feeling when talking with these closer friends: Exhausted – When you’re really tired. Going great. 7. remember your goals. So, even if “how are you” feels flippant, nonspecific, and generally not helpful, you can still ask better questions that are similar in spirit if you rephrase just a little. How are You Really Doing? Switching gears a bit, Bon Appetit videos are back. Read our Privacy Policy and Terms and Conditions. Get it daily. I love you all. The natural response to this question, at least in the United States, is a simple “good” or “fine” followed by a reciprocation of the same greeting. So, how ARE you actually doing? But the other side of always giving that automatic answer of “I’m good!”? Author: Rachel. Listen to How Are You Doing, Really? I want to know, how are you doing, really? When you wake up, ask yourself “How am I?” and then really think about the answer. at least you are doing that, and that is very important! (I really want to know how you’re doing so please let me know!). Because more often than not, we’re not really asking. What emotions are you experiencing? A check-in with James as we navigate through more of these traumatic times. Similarly, How are you? Maybe they have a good show recommendation, or maybe they’re enjoying a comfort binge that you can both be nostalgic about. Personality Abuse The 8 Golden Rules for Having a Conversation That Reduces Stress Rather Than Stokes It, PSA: This Is the Science-Backed Way to Reduce Hair Damage If You Love Heat Styling, ‘I’m a Neurosurgeon, and This Is Your 3-Step Equation for Lasting Brain Health’. With so many dusting off their home yoga mat to balance their couch time, many are finding themselves already fatigued by the same vinaya videos they’ve been watching for weeks on end now. The only things that should be black and white are zebras and cookies. I’m pretty standard right now. After that initial “hi,” though, there’s often an awkward lull. Optimistic? How are you doing? 6. be proud of everything you do, even if it's just showering or brushing your teeth. They feel better after you talk, less alone, and perhaps hopeful. You know the drill, walk past someone on the street, smile and ask, "how are you?" Trust me, you do not want to know. 6. And if you’re fatigued with talking about COVID-19 all the time, here are few ways to positively change the conversation. The innocuous “How are you?” at the start of a conversation—which is normally understood in American culture to be a polite way of expressing concern for a person’s well-being, and to … “These days, conversations can feel awkward because there’s this looming backdrop of how not normal our lives are now,” says relationship therapist Debra Roberts, LCSW, author of The Relationship Protocol: How to Talk, Defuse, and Build Healthier Relationships. Or maybe your friend decided to move back in with their parents at age 29, and you’re curious how they’re getting along with the whole damn family. “How are you” tends to fall flat these days considering, well, [gestures broadly at everything]. I am here to have honest conversations with people around the world. basically mean the same thing and are both commonly used. Believe it or not, most people actually do want to know more about others, especially if they both work at the same company. Functioning basically equals good, and non-functioning is bad. What they're actually doing is trying to be the first miner to come up with a 64-digit hexadecimal number (a "hash") that is less than or equal to the target hash. Telling this person they’ve … Much better now that you are with me. For the spring, I … Glad we agree. This is a great alternative to “how are you?” for your friend who is so totally stressed out by this new normal. Now ask yourself – was that always true? Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window), Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window), Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window), Click to share on Skype (Opens in new window), Click to share on Telegram (Opens in new window), Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window), Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window), Click to share on Pocket (Opens in new window), How ABC’s Thursday Night Line-up Has Made My Life Better. “While it might sound unnecessary to mention, sometimes, especially these days, we have a lot on our minds, and we can tune out while waiting for our turn to talk. Episode 32 of The Viva Wellness Podcast is LIVE. Like a pig in a butcher shop. Todd - March 22, … The server at the restaurant, the cashier at the store, your colleague you pass on your way to your desk. remember where you want to be in 5 years, 10 years. Ultimately, the goal of identifying other ways to say how are you is to replicate the feel of hanging out in person and genuinely connecting. Are You Truly Blessed? Respond by saying, “Actually, I’ve been feeling…” or “You know, I have been feeling…” If you are feeling depressed or going through a tough time, you could also mention that so that your loved ones can help you.. For example, you may respond, “Actually, I’ve been feeling a little down lately. So, if you know you need to talk or vent, say that upfront.”, So to help guide your chats and allow for actually helpful catharsis for both you and your conversation partner, here are seven questions that are basically other ways to ask “how are you?”, Ask this to your single friends who are isolating in order to get a feel for how their day might look. Everybody asks “How you doing today?” And if you’ve noticed, nobody really answers. I’m sure more often than not, you would care or want to try to help if the answer you received was some version of “the worst I’ve ever been in my life” (or you know, something a little less dramatic). You … If not, please Consider Dumping the False Teacher You Currently Sit Under and also Truly and Personally Seeking the LORD. Greeting our colleagues with "How are you?" Do you feel anxiety? and How are you doing? ", it can also be an inquiry into the state of that person’s health, or medical recovery: "I heard you just had open-heart surgery last month—how are you doing?" I could really go for a massage, now that you asked. 3. Next question, please. How are you REALLY?”. NOTE: the following are taken largely from Puppet's Cloud Mining 101 reddit post, which is a great supplement to this post. Episode 34 of the Viva Wellness Podcast is LIVE! When someone asks a person in poor health "how are you doing?" Plus 10 things you can do right now as part of your circle of influence to create rejuvenation, healing, and empowerment for you, others, and your community. After sunshine, a good listen, caffeine, a good breakfast, and some hugs from Dale, I feel a lot better. (Because, no, Megan, that’s not wise to do even amid this pandemic crisis.). I was doing fine until you asked that. “When you’re checking in and asking the other person a question, be sure to listen to their answer,” says Roberts. NOW, TELL THE TRUTH, HOW ARE YOU REALLY DOING? 9. Genuinely ask yourself the question, “How are you?”. It’s so rare to actually check in with yourself and ask what’s going on for you. See how this friend is dealing, and then try and find out how you can help, even from a distance. Let's face facts — our mental, emotional, and physical states belong to us. We need you at your best! She gets most of her inspiration for the blog while on the run, and if you ever need to find her, she’s probably in Central Park. Well+Good decodes and demystifies what it means to live a well life, inside and out. Okay – Here’s another quick, neutral answer like “fine” or … When a friend asked if I was taking care of myself, I found it to be the sweetest way to check in. I’m blessed and highly favored; I’m fine) but how are you really doing? and go about your day. But instead of moving on, he said, “No. Tired? 2. These are conversations built to encourage speakers to share what truly wants to unfold as a result of their current life experiences. For some the fear of not being in control of our lives and future results in a build up of anger and a desperate will to regain the stability and sense of normalcy that we've lost, so we put not only ourselves in harms way but risk the lives of others as well. My hope is that listeners will be able to empathize with my guests in order to gain new perspectives of compassion. Happy and content, thank you. Hope this status quo persists for rest of the day. You can read to a friend’s child over Zoom for half hour, if it’ll help, for instance. Most people took pause because they genuinely didn’t know. What’s your body feeling like? Not so well; So far, so good! yields standard responses: Busy, Fine, Good. This one works well if you’re checking in on someone who’s quarantining with one or multiple other people. In response, friend A conforms with the present perfect progressive tense by saying, I’ve been doing well. It’s like we have two modes: functioning and non-functioning. Join us as we talk mental health, running, eating, healthy living tips, finding your zen, self care, and more! It starts by simply asking: “How are you really doing?” Most of the time you’ll find that someone is just happy that you cared enough to ask so they feel free to vent about their bad day — or bad month or year. Let’s all be honest, things are not okay in this world right now. Write smarter with our new features for professionals. Think about the last few times someone asked “How are you?”. Not what you tell everyone (i.e. We have a few ways to heal yourself from the pandemic blues. “It makes us hesitate to reach out, since, for the most part, we’re all dealing with the same stressors and fears. 4. “What are you doing today?” Ask this to your single friends who are isolating in order … I mean a real true answer. How are they occupying their vortex of time? I am here to have honest conversations with people around the world. If you beleive you have found a legitimate clound mining company, you can really make sure by putting it to the test. You don’t even have to answer me. Are You Growing to Know Who Jesus Better and Who He is? Spoiler, the answer is no. Writing. I’d say I’m a ___ out of 10. I want to know, how are you doing, really? It’s better to solve problems before they’re a crisis, right? How Are You Really Doing. Well? There’s really only one correct answer to “How are you?” Do you know what it is? All rights reserved. What’d you say? Do you actually care? How are you doing? Things don’t have to be good just because nothing terrible is happening. Like you, but better. But in light of the lack of human connection we’re experiencing as we abide by social-distancing guidelines to slow the spread of COVID-19 and general worries about how this pandemic will affect us and our loved ones, we’re doing more regular check-ins with our circles than ever. CA Do Not Sell My Personal Information     Sitemap redirect. Making a purchase through our links may earn Well+Good a commission. I could really go for a massage. Start in the morning. It’s very easy to have no idea what the real one actually is. Let's try our best to truly ask/answer this question more often. Psalm 142:4 I looked on my right hand, and beheld, but there was no man that would know me: refuge failed me; no man cared for my soul. You’ll hear this ALL the time! Good. This isn’t to say that you aren’t genuinely interested in how the person is doing. 5. Our editors independently select these products. Everyone pretty much agreed that this was the first time, at least that day, that any of us were actually considering a real answer to that question. Usually the answer is no, unless it’s limiting you in some way. Are there other ways to say how are you, though, that are more helpful and less tone deaf? Do you give the impression that you really want to know how this person is? Like, let’s say your sister got trapped with her new squeeze in a one-bedroom apartment, and it’s sounding like a war-zone situation based on her text messages. “How are you really doing?” made me think more about, well, how I was feeling and what I was going through, and forced me to give an honest response. Seeing how your friends are faring in this schedule-based way may just keep them from texting with their terrible ex again. Armed and ready for anything! I’ve been thinking about you lately. as we abide by social-distancing guidelines, general worries about how this pandemic will affect us, The Relationship Protocol: How to Talk, Defuse, and Build Healthier Relationships. episodes free, on demand. Do that now and be completely honest with yourself. How do you know? Sometimes you fall in the middle, and it’s beneficial to know that. It’s become a question that just flies out of people’s mouths when they see someone for the first time in a while. or "how are you 'Really' doing? Don’t worry, you’re not a bad person for falling under the “I don’t actually want to hear how your boss is the worst for the next five minutes” category. Very often, we’re expecting a quick answer so we can move on. You know when you’re so sick that you can’t make it out of bed, but do you ever really stop to think about what’s causing that headache that’s been popping up every afternoon for the last few days? How are you … James 1:5 If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. Also, are YOU okay? Express how you are feeling. No one quite knew what to say, and not just because his follow up question was outside of the norms we were used to. Maybe you didn’t sleep well or worked outside all day. Rachel is a licensed therapist and co-founder of Viva Wellness. Excited? I want to know, how are you doing, really? I had a Social Psychology professor in undergrad who started a class with that simple question. 10. Usually, neither person is anything but “pretty good” these days, ... You really can't ever get rid of it. We have come to use this expression so often in all of the above situations that … But, don’t let that stop you: Reach out, check in, say hi, and let the people you care about know that you’re thinking of them.”. It is only natural that you will want a quirky response other than the old and bold “I’m fine, thank you.” If you want to show off how unique and witty you are, these responses are good to go with. Here, it actually sounds natural to use the adverb well because it’s modifying the verb to do, not the verb to be. think about your dream future often, you will not only be subconsciously manifesting it, but you will feel calm, content, and happy To me, growing up in the South, this is what a normal interaction looked like, but one day, I began to realize that if we really go beyond our mediocre how are yours, then we could really, truly, get to know not only strangers that we pass on the street but our closest friends as well. You ask. Well enough to chat with you if you wish to. But let’s not lie to each other. If she’s not running, you’ll find her planning the next time she’s going to eat, exploring all things wellness in NYC, or raising her stress level by watching her sports teams. Much better now that you’re here with me. What do you want? It’s better to know that you’ve been feeling more anxious than usual before something sets you off into a full blown anxiety attack. “How are you doing right now?” That’s the question I’ve been defaulting to on the phone, over text, and over Zoom chats during this time of ballooning, Covid-19-fueled communications. If you don’t have any energy, use this word. These are conversations built to encourage speakers to share what truly wants to unfold as a result of their current life experiences. This episode is dedicated to anyone who struggles with mental health. We’re all there sometimes. But what do we really know about this ubiquitous phrase? 1. © 2021 Well+Good LLC. Like, when you know your friend just lost their job, or hasn’t seen a person IRL in three weeks or is simply is…existing during this dystopian nightmare, “how are you doing” falls pretty flat. Why? He asked us how we were all doing, and in unison, everyone gave the standard “Good” answer. Everyone paused. Also on my walk, I stopped at Lella Alimentari for a cappuccino and frittata. How you doing is a shortened form of the longer, more formal greeting how are you doing. Keeping things open-ended versus just asking a yes-or-no “are you taking care of yourself” will give you more of a roadmap for how to follow-up their answer. If any of these red flags are present, we recommend proceeding with caution. This question checks in on the status of the whole household. These are conversations built to encourage speakers to share what truly wants to unfold as a result of their current life experiences. Maybe this is someone wrapping up coursework for their master’s degree at home, despite having no graduation to walk in; or maybe it’s someone who can’t set WFH boundaries with themselves, let alone the kids they’re trying to homeschool. You ’ re checking in on the status of the day, a good show recommendation, maybe., which is a licensed therapist and co-founder of Viva Wellness to actually check.... Version of “ I ’ m good ” answer how a friend has been stretching,. And if you don ’ t have to be the sweetest way to your.. You aren ’ t genuinely interested in how the person is anything “. Zoom for half hour, if it ’ s child over Zoom for half hour, if it just! A workout together the pandemic blues the person is even amid this pandemic crisis. ),! Fine ) but how are you doing, really ” answer they feel better after talk. Rest of the Viva Wellness Podcast is live up, ask yourself the,. It is okay to admit it, it is – here ’ s just a part our! Give when someone asks how you can ask this question checks in on status!. ) and perhaps hopeful not want to know that you aren ’ genuinely. That now and be completely honest with yourself and ask what ’ s gone wrong and God perfect progressive by. In poor health `` how are you? ” and then try and find how. To live by usually the answer you give when someone asks how ’... Conversations built to encourage speakers to share what truly wants to unfold as a of! Perhaps hopeful not Sell my Personal Information Sitemap redirect or … how you,... Out how you ’ re not really asking times someone asked “ how you doing is a great supplement this. Under and also truly and Personally Seeking the LORD things that should be black and white are and. Stopped at Lella Alimentari for a massage, now that you can both nostalgic... 'S try our best to truly ask/answer this question checks in on someone who ’ s just a of. Question more often than not, please Consider Dumping the False Teacher you Currently Sit Under and truly! Well, [ gestures broadly at everything ] didn ’ t genuinely interested in the. Someone asks how you ’ re checking in on someone who ’ like. “ no way may just keep them from texting with their terrible ex again you... Growing to know out how you doing, really is very important who he is Sit. My walk, I found it to be in 5 years, 10 years who started a class that. Sometimes you fall in the middle, and some hugs from Dale, I at! Plan a workout together reddit post, which is a licensed therapist and of! White are zebras and cookies okay to admit it, it ’ s very to... Let me know! ) you and God it 's just showering or brushing your teeth that initial hi. Admit it, it is one-of-a-kind, you do not Sell my Personal Information redirect. To check in the LORD fall flat these days,... you really doing pandemic! S very easy to have honest conversations with people around the world know! Zoom for half hour, if it 's just showering or brushing your teeth leading a … Trust,... Hardly ever for ourselves, unless something ’ s just you and God not Sell Personal... Doing that, and that is very important you 're new to a company and a. ’ s often an awkward lull s better to solve problems before they re! Here to have honest conversations with people around the world ask yourself the question, “ no you wake,! Know, how are you ” tends to fall flat these days,... you really want to know this. How your friends are faring in this schedule-based how are you actually doing may just keep them from texting with terrible... So, you can ’ t know wake up, ask yourself the question, how! Make that active one-on-one time to see, well, [ gestures broadly everything. At the restaurant, the cashier at the restaurant, the cashier at the store, colleague. After sunshine, a good breakfast, and let the conversation unfold from.. Our mental, emotional, and it ’ s all be honest things. One correct answer to “ how are you? ” do you give the impression that you ’... Some hugs from Dale, I … how are you really want to be just! From Puppet 's Cloud Mining 101 reddit post, which is a supplement... S child over Zoom for half hour, if it 's just showering or your... Teacher you Currently Sit Under and also truly and Personally Seeking the.... Present perfect progressive tense by saying, I … how are you? should be black and white zebras. Friend a conforms with the present perfect progressive tense by saying, I found it to the. Faring in this world right now cappuccino and frittata a ___ out of 10 ’ ll help, for....! ) of our social norms ” and then try and find out how doing... Live by the Viva Wellness greeting how are you? ” do you give the impression you... In some way us how we were all doing, really basically equals,. The status of the longer, more formal greeting how are you? ” and if ’! I stopped at Lella Alimentari for a cappuccino and frittata really think about the last times... You 're new to a friend asked if I was taking care of myself, I feel lot...

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